Parker Review

Parker (Jason Statham) is a thief with a unique code of professional ethics. After doing a heist at the Ohio State Fair with four other associates, he is double-crossed by them for not wanting to do another heist. His crew shoots him, and leaves him for dead on a country road. When he awakens, he assumes a new disguise and forms an unlikely alliance with a real estate agent (Jennifer Lopez) in order to hijack the score of the crew’s latest heist, so he can get his revenge.

Parker is an adaptation of Donald Westlake’s novel “Flashfire, which is the 19th novel in the Parker series. However, it comes across as another Jason Statham movie. Nevertheless, that is not a bad thing. All of Statham’s movies are somewhat formulaic, but I surprisingly liked this one better than his recent efforts. It is fast paced with mindless action, and entertaining despite the film being almost two hours long. Statham has a great screen presence and in league with action heroes like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sylvester Stallone, and Bruce Willis.

The movie’s strong points are the action scenes, which are filmed quite brilliantly. The fight scenes are brutal, intense, and well choreographed. The editing is a little too frenetic at times, so it can be hard to tell what is going on. In addition, Jennifer Lopez’s character distracts from the movie at times, and is nothing but eye candy for the target audience. If the movie just focused on Parker, then I think this could have been a stronger film.

Parker looks like your average Jason Statham movie and it is. However, it is exhilarating and action-packed despite its underdeveloped characters and formulaic story.

Parker - 3/5

Movie 43 Review

Bad comedy. Bad.

I’m going to be blunt with this review. Movie 43 is a terrible, agonizing experience. It amazes me how so many actors got roped into making this dreadful film. The movie is a collection of 12 shorts that features a cast that includes Elizabeth Banks, Kate Winslet, Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry, Emma Stone, Jason Sudeikis, Dennis Quaid, Richard Gere, Greg Kinnear, and other talented actors.

Eleven of the segments are related to the main short, which stars Dennis Quaid as a desperate screenwriter who is trying to pitch his idea to a studio executive. Quaid starts pitching his ideas, and this is when the film starts to become terrible.

Most of the shorts are crude, tasteless, and unfunny. One short involves Kate Winslet and High Jackman going on a blind date. To Winslet’s surprise, Jackman has a large scrotum hanging from his neck, and nobody seems to notice it except her. Another short stars Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts as parents trying to recreate the dangers and turmoil of high school for their homeschooled child. This short features bad jokes involving bullying, homosexuality, and even incest. Then, there is a short about a couple (Anna Faris and Chris Pratt) that thinks sex acts involving defecation will strengthen their relationship. This is complete garbage.

However, I did find three of shorts mildly funny. One short stars Chloë Grace Moretz as a girl who experiences her first period while hanging out at her boyfriend’s house. The short mocks how men are so clueless when it comes to female problems. At one point, one of the men suggests clogging her uterus with frozen peas and a sponge. Another one stars Terrence Howard as a basketball coach who is trying to inspire his African-American team to beat their arrogant white opponents. It puts a nice spin on those cliché true-life sports stories. Then there is a disturbing yet funny short about a couple that lives with their cartoon cat named Beezel. There are several other shorts, but the rest of them are not worth mentioning.

Movie 43 is an abomination, and is a movie that will be forgotten quickly. I still can’t figure out how so many good actors and actresses agreed to do this abysmal film. The only explanation I can think of is blackmail. Each segment is only around 5-10 minutes, but this is a blemish that I don’t think any actor wants on his/her resume. This has to be one of the worst comedies I have seen in a long time. Surprisingly it's not even the worst comedy of 2013. That honor belongs to a movie much worse. Hint: It's an Adam Sandler film.

Movie 43 - 1/5

The Last Stand Review

I'd told you I'd be back!

Whether you love him or hate him, you have to admit that Arnold Schwarzenegger has a great, screen presence. He is a true, action movie star, so it’s great to see him again in top billing action roles again.

Basically, the film is about the leader of a drug cartel, Gabriel Cortez (Eduardo Noriega), who busts out of prison. He speeds off in a modified Chevrolet Corvette C6 ZRI with a hostage and a fierce army of gang members to the Mexican border. However, before he gets there he has to pass the small town of Sommerton Junction, Arizona. The only thing in his path is Sheriff Ray Owens (Arnold Schwarzenegger), an ex-LAPD officer who leaves his post following a bungled operation that fails and cripples his partner. The sheriff is reluctant to get involved because of his inexperienced police staff, but ultimately Owens decides to get involved and stop Cortez before he gets to the border.

The formulaic script really brings down the film a lot, and the supporting characters don’t really help the situation either. However, the film's strength lies in two main things. First is Arnold's undeniable screen presence. He carries the movie on his shoulders and doesn't look back. When he's on screen, good or not, we keep watching, though his acting has visibly improved compared to his past entries. He jokes about his age, but he can still shoot and fight pretty well for a man his age.

The other major thing is the direction from South Korean helmer Kim Ji- Woon. This is Kim's Hollywood debut, having directed the creepy horror drama, "A Tale of Two Sisters", the fun Western "The Good, the Bad, the Weird", and the brutal crime thriller, "I Saw The Devil". Kim knows he is working with formula here, and he ups the ante with comic, graphic violence and fast, paced direction.

Had it not been for Arnold or Kim's involvement, this would have been a direct-to-DVD action thriller. However, the stunts are good, well choreographed, and not a tinge of CGI in sight, and the action is comically violent in certain parts of the movie.

This is a fun, popcorn movie, and I look forward to seeing Schwarzenegger doing new action movies for the new decade.

The Last Stand - 3.5/5

Mama Review

Mama is probably one of the better horror films to come out in the past few years. It is surprising since the film is rated PG-13 and in the past, movies with this rating are not really that scary. The story is decent and delivers all of the chills and thrills to make it an effective horror movie.

The film starts with a suburban father of two little girls returning home after murdering his two business partners. The crazed man also kills his wife and drives off with his kidnapped daughters on an icy road. Naturally, the car slides off the snowy road into a steep ravine. Still able to walk, the dad carries his youngest girl Lily (Isabelle Nélisse) deep into the woods with his older daughter Victoria (Megan Charpentier) following them, and they seek refuge in a spooky, remote cabin. Once inside we have a sense of what is going to happen next. As the father grabs the pistol to shoot his little girl, a witchlike angel with wall crawling abilities attacks him. She is Mama. She rescues the girls and raises them as her own.

For the next five years the homicidal man’s brother Lucas (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) and his girlfriend Annabel (Jessica Chastain) continue to search for the children. Eventually, a couple of hunters find the crashed car and the two girls, who have become animal-like after spending so much time in the wilderness. They are put under the care of psychiatrist Dr. Dreyfuss, but Lucas and Annabel are granted custody of the two children under the agreement that they move into a large suburban house so the doctor can do psychiatric case studies on the children. However, Mama has followed them to the house and intends to take the two girls back.

Mama has some stunning visuals and delivers the promised amount of scares. It balances suspense and sudden jumps quite well. The movie has a creepy atmosphere, and that is essential for a horror movie like this. Once Mama’s form is revealed, it is quite a sight to see. She has dislocated joints, malnourished limbs, and a disproportional face painted with a sickly brown color, which gives this movie monster an added touch of realism, and sends tingles down your spine.

However, I did have a couple of problems with the film. For example, it’s hard to believe that the police could not find the girls for so long. Also, the title character’s origin story is never explained fully, and it would have been nice to explore it more.

Mama is a good horror movie with some great scares with an eerie atmosphere, but it never quite reaches its potential. A stronger script and better character development could have made this a truly great horror movie.

Mama - 4/5

Here Comes the Gangster Squad

Gangster Squad is based on the story of Los Angeles Police Department officers and detectives who form a group called the “Gangster Squad Unit”. The group, led by two sergeants (Josh Brolin and Ryan Gosling), works together in an effort to take down the ruthless mob king Mickey Cohen (Sean Penn) in post-World War II Los Angeles.

This gangster movie is style over substance at its finest, but this is not necessarily a bad thing. Some people will want more depth because there are gangster films with more depth, but Gangster Squad is just an all out action movie. Once again, Sean Penn steals the show as real life gangster Mickey Cohen. He is a ruthless and power hungry madman with an ice-cold heart, and Penn plays him excellently. I also love how well the movie portrays 1940’s Los Angeles. There are some movies where the set pieces look out of place. In Gangster Squad the set designers get every last detail right from the classic cars and clothing attire to the glamorous nightclubs and hotels.

However, this movie is incredibly cliché and predictable. You can easily tell what is going to happen next. Like all gangster movies this film is violent, but I noticed that this one is excessively violent and bloody, which might turn off some people. The romantic subplot between Gosling and Mickey Cohen’s redheaded mistress Grace (Emma Stone) goes nowhere. It is a shame because the two had much better chemistry in Crazy Stupid Love.

There are better gangster films like Brian De Palma’s The Untouchables and Curtis Hansen’s L.A. Confidential, but Gangster Squad is a decent movie with a great performance by Sean Penn, and it has some spectacular shootout scenes.

Gangster Squad - 3.5/5